Loving myself again!

“Love is the first step in the book of Freedom ” – Sameyh

I have been dealing with depression for a while; it has been a long and tedious journey back to good health through catharsis. I had graduated from UCLA with a degree in Sociology and was working in the Military/Aerospace industry for 7 years after finishing school.

Two months before I had my first son, I was laid off from my job which drastically hit me and took a toll on my health. I felt the responsibility to take care of and raise my new born to the best of my ability; my wife was not working either. I could not find a comparable job, regardless of how many interviews and recommendations I had.

I joined my Father’s small business after 2 years of not finding a job. Depression had hit me to the point of no return.

Depression became worse. I felt hopeless, confused and utterly sad, as if my life was completely over. Looking back, I realized I had lost sight of love for myself and didn’t treat myself the way I deserved to be treated, “I did not love myself anymore.”

The concern I had was that I had two parents, a wife and two beautiful sons who were craving for my attention and love but I didn’t truly feel like I had any to give. How could I be a good parent, without loving myself? The faith in myself had been lost. I gained immense weight due to craving unhealthy foods and taking medications. This depression made me hit rock bottom.

After several years of being in this state, I was sick of being sick! I made the decision that I wanted to get out of this rut. I modified my habits, behavior towards myself and reactions to my family. My parents, wife, children and sister were extremely supportive to improve my health and would find the right doctors, medicines or therapists for me.

As suggested by my guide, I started affirming, “I absolutely love myself” 3 times every morning and 3 times at night before bed.

I persevered to start taking a brisk walk for 40 minutes daily, added meditation for a half hour daily, and also began Qi-Gong an ancient Chinese practice similar to Tai Chi.

Along with physical, mental and spiritual exercises, I started changing my mindset and beliefs about myself. I decided to stop the negative thinking and I reminded myself about where I had come from and what I was capable of.

I was a successful employee of a huge company, had a B.A from an accredited university and I had the drive to be successful. My therapist asked me, “where is that guy?” It hit me, he was always there, but he just was lost along the way.

I had to gain back hope, faith and the natural ambition to make things happen for me again! To create hope I had to have motivation, which was the wish to thrive again for myself and my family!

As I started changing my mindset, the mental, physical and spiritual commitment to my daily routine helped to bring the faith back into my being.

With daily affirmations, physical and mental efforts I started “loving myself again” and gradually got out of this black hole. I found my purpose again; I started healing by blogging with the intention to help myself, my family and others.

The love and self-respect started seeping in the depths of my heart again.

Today, I have expanded the family business and have given my dear Father semi-retirement and have given livelihood and love back to my family. I’m grateful to almighty God, myself and my family for seeing me through this voyage!

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