I still sometimes find myself wanting to be accepted and have approval…

Why do we often want to look for inadequacies in ourselves, and all of sudden when doing this we become the best detective agent finding so many supposed negativities within. I had a phone interview a few days ago and found myself feeling inadequate after the fact because I was talking too much. I lost the balance of giving enough detail and rambling. I guess the way or behavior you speak with goes a long way. I wasn’t composed.

It’s a common human habit to make a mistake and then repent later. The irony is when we make the same mistake again in life due to our desires, mannerisms, or circumstances we can find ourselves feeling insecure again after the mistake is made. I feel that we as humans want to present ourselves as best possible, but I realize that some times it’s not only for ourselves but rather for the people we are associating with. Why do we seek approval from others, the only people we truly need approval from is ourselves and loved ones. If we accept ourselves with all of our blemishes, and idiosyncrasies included then we can find a way to free ourselves from the tyranny of our own thoughts and insecurities.

For much of my life I have felt the need to be accepted, the need to have approval of others, the need to be the best. I realize that when I was young I was so hard on myself for not being perfect that I didn’t feel it was okay to be imperfect. Only later in life did I see that all of us are imperfect, we all have the same types of insecurities. I only realize now that I only need my family’s approval and acceptance. I don’t need to impress others, or seek approval. I only have to be content with myself and my loved ones. Balance inside is the key to balance outside.

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