There was a point in my life where I was trying to become mindful. I was trying to be dispassionate and distancing myself. This was about 7 years ago. I am still trying but with a new method that includes love, passion, and no detachment. Now I find myself trying to be passionate, being compelled by emotions in order to reach my goals. Different times of life trigger different types of mindsets to arise. It was quite confusing while I thought about this earlier.
I felt like I was trying to hard to see with passion the light in life, to reach my goals, while I forgot that the light is already with me, the efforts I make everyday already exist in my life. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself all the time, I need to give myself credit for all that I do. Mindful or not, but at this juncture I am very passionate about all I wish for. I thought that distancing myself from situations was a way that I would gain something. I realize now that by being detached I wasn’t helping anyone, including myself. Mindfulness practice is for the purpose of joy and bliss within not for detachment of the self right now. Yes, I need to be aware, conscious, and loving but I must not lose sight of the goal, which is to give love without expectation. I already have passion and light present in my life through the means of family, food, shelter, hope, Love etc. I don’t need to lose love or the self in order to become mindful. I need to keep it insight so that the practice blossoms into a form of loving transformation.