Today I was passing by a lady who was saying to her little one, “Hey Eddie, you’re taking your first steps”, then she said, “you lazy butt.” I wasn’t shocked at first, I thought it was a casual statement because of the way she was saying it.
Then I ruminated on it again, this is actually how children start consciously and sub-consciously hearing their parent’s voice, it’s the sound that makes the difference.
Yes, tone has a lot to do with it at a young age and meaning comes later in life. The lady wasn’t wrong in the tone of voice she was speaking in, it was natural to not be startled by the way she was speaking.
It’s shocking how when we get angry at our children (Or anybody else) it’s the loud tone of voice that takes them by surprise, they know something is wrong when they hear loud words.
Much of this tone of voice is a choice, which has to do with conditioning, natural response factors, and current mindset of an individual.
By choice, I try to keep my tone of voice as calm as possible, even though it’s not possible All of the time.